Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Bystander: A Portrait in Apathy: Jillian Palmieri

Bystander: A Portrait in Apathy
www.bystander.us/bio.htmlCached - Similar
 
 
Jillian Palmieri: Prior to developing Bystander: A Portrait in Apathy, Jillian taught seventh grade for four years at Applegarth Middle School in Monroe Township, NJ.

Monday, November 28, 2011

PERSEVERE (Video/Speakers on)

Video: may words inspire, motivate, and empower you!

Copyright © 2010 - 2011 flickspire
Watch Persevere

Mac Anderson
Founder, Simple Truths

Monday, November 21, 2011

Proactively Protecting Our Children and Each Other

www.kidpower.org
We are too late to protect ten-year-old Ashlynn Connor, whose suffering led her to join the growing list of ‘bullycide’ tragedies. This is an emergency. We must all do everything we can to protect young people from despair and hopelessness by creating positive school cultures and empowering everyone...

Bullying prevention activities for elementary school children

     click    Bullying in schools | pacer.org
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Saturday, November 19, 2011

How Do We Proactively Empower Our Children & Each Other in the Face of Bullying?

Peruse and share this website: 
www.saferschools.blogspot.com

Contact: saferschools@yahoo.com 
www.bullypolice.org/RecommendedSpeakers.pdf
Not hel You can block www.bullypolice.org results when you're signed in to search.www.bullypolice.org

You +1'd this publiclFile Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - Quick View
If you are a speaker, specializing in an anti bullying speaking format, and would like to ... NC. ND. NE. NH. NJ - Edward Dragan - David J. Martin - Jillian Palmieri. NM. NV. NY - Parry .... The campaign began with a vigil to commemorate. Amanda ..... bullying. For 8th graders the emphasis is directed toward leaving a positive ...

www.salisburypost.com/News/051911-Bullying-vigil-qcdCached
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May 19, 2011 – SALISBURY — Eighth-grader Megan Braun isn't backing down to ... speakers for the candlelight vigil, dubbed “Beacons Against Bullying.” ...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

§ 115C‑105.47 Local safe school plans

What is your school system's local safe school plan?
Research & keep a copy readily available.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

LIFT: Law Institute for Teachers

The following informational presentation was created by Tom Stern, NCAE Attorney, and Deborah Stagner for the 2010 LIFT (Law Institute For Teachers) Conference sponsored by the Wake County Bar. 
(click following website)

Violence in the Schools - 2010 LIFT Conference


How can we effectively work to assure the safety of our children and school personnel?

Caring School Community: Research Results

Facts About Bullying - Nationally Recognized | DevStu.org
www.devstu.org/BullyPrevention

Monday, November 14, 2011

KidPower: Face Bullying With Confidence: 8 Skills Kids Can Use Right Away

By Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Executive Director

Here are some practices you can work on with the young people in your life.

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1. Walking with Awareness, Calm, and Confidence

People are less likely to be picked on if they walk and sit with awareness, calm and confidence. Awareness, calm and confidence means keeping one's head up, back straight, taking assertive steps, looking around, having a peaceful face and body, and moving away from people who might cause trouble.
Show your child the difference between being passive, aggressive and assertive in body language, tone of voice and choice of words. Have your child walk across the floor, coaching her or him to be successful, by saying for example; "That's great!" "Now take bigger steps", "Look around you" "Straighten your back." etc.

2. Leaving in a Powerful, Positive Way

The best self-defense tactic is called "target denial," which means "don't be there." Act out a scenario where maybe your child is walking in the school corridor (or any other place where he or she might bullied). You can pretend to be a bully standing by the wall saying mean things. Ask your child what these mean things might be because what is considered insulting or upsetting is different for different people, times, and places.
Coach your child to veer around the bully in order to move out of reach. Remind your child to leave with awareness, calm and confidence, glancing back to see where the bully is. Let your child practicing saying something neutral in a normal tone of voice like "See you later!" or "Have a nice day!" while calmly and confidently moving away. Point out that stepping out of line or changing seats is often the safest choice.

3. Setting a Boundary

If a bully is following or threatening your child in a situation where she or he cannot just leave, your child needs to be able to set a clear boundary.
Pretend to poke your child in the back (do this very gently; the idea is not to be hurtful). Coach your child to turn, stand up tall, put his or her hands up in front of the body like a fence, palms out and open, and say "Stop!".
Coach your child to have a calm but clear voice and polite firm words- not whiney and not aggressive. Show how to do it and praise your child for trying -even though she or he does not get it right to begin with. Realize that this might be very hard and triggering for your child (and maybe for you too).
Children need support to learn these skills. The idea is that your child takes charge of his or her space by moving away and, if need be, setting boundaries as soon as a problem is about to start - so that your child doesn't wait until the bullying is already happening.

4. Using Your Voice

If your child does get into a situation where somebody is trying to push or hit or knuckle her or his head, you could practice by holding your child gently and acting as if you are going to do the action gently. Coach your child to pull away and yell NO! really loudly. Coach him or her to say "STOP! I don't like that!" Coach your child to look the bully in the eyes and speak in a firm voice with both hands up and in front like a fence. Teach your child to leave and go to an adult for help.

5. Protecting Your Feelings From Name-Calling

Schools, youth groups, and families should create harassment-free zones just as workplaces should. However, you can teach children how to protect themselves from insults. Tell your child that saying something mean back makes the problem bigger, not better.
One way to take the power out of hurting words by is saying them out loud and imagining throwing them away. Doing this physically and out loud at home will help a child to do this in his or her imagination at school.
Help your child practice throwing the mean things that other people are saying into a trash can. Have your child then say something positive out loud to himself or herself to take in. For example, if someone says, "I don't like you, " you can throw those words away and say, "I like myself." If someone says, "You are stupid" you can throw those words away and say, "I'm smart." If someone says, "I don't want to play with you" then you can throw those words away and say, "I will find another friend."

6. Speaking Up for Inclusion

Being left out is a major form of bullying. Exclusion should be clearly against the rules at school. A child can practice persisting in asking to join a game.
Pretend to be a bully who wants to exclude.
Have your child walk up and say, "I want to play." Coach your child to sound and look positive and friendly, not whiny or aggressive.
Ask your child the reasons that kids give for excluding him or her. Use those reasons so your child can practice persisting. For example, if the reason is, "You're not good enough," your child can practice saying "I'll get better if I practice!" If the reason is, "There are too many already," your child might practice saying, "There's always room for one more." If the reason is, "You cheated last time," your child might practice saying, "I did not understand the rules. Let's make sure we agree on the rules this time."

7. Being Persistent in Getting Help

Children who are being bullied need to be able to tell teachers, parents, and other adults in charge what is happening in the moment clearly and calmly and persistently even if these adults are very distracted or rude - and even if asking for help has not worked before. Learning how to have polite firm words, body language and tone of voice even under pressure and to not give up when asking for help is a life-long skill.
We have found that practice is helpful for both children and adults in learning how to persist and get help when you need it. Here is one you can do with your child.
Pretend to be a teacher or someone else who your child might expect help and support from. Tell your child who you are pretending to be and where you might be at school. Have your child start saying in a clear calm voice, "Excuse me I have a safety problem."
You pretend to be busy and just ignore your child! Coach him or her to keep going and say: "Excuse me, I really need your help."
Act irritated and impatient and say, "Yes. what is it now?" and keep being busy.
Coach your child to say something specific like, "The girls over there are calling me names and not letting me play with them. I have told them I don't like being called names and that I want to play but they won't listen. " or "Those boys keep coming up and pushing me. I have tried to stay away from them but they keep coming up to me and won't leave me alone." At school, teachers want children to try to solve their problems first. However, adult intervention is needed if this does not work.
You say: "That's nice!" as if you heard but did not actually listen. This is very common for busy adults.
Coach your child to touch your arm and keep going "Please, to listen to me this is important". Now you get irritated and say "Can't you see I’m busy!?"
Tell your child that sometimes adults get angry and don’t understand but not to give up in asking for help and to say the specific problem again: "I do not feel safe here because (state specific problem again) ______________."
You minimize and say: "What's the big deal? Just stay away from them."
Coach your child to persistent and say again, "Having this happen is making me feel bad about going to school. Please, I really need you to listen."
Now change your demeanor so that your child can see you are listening and understanding and say "Oh! I am sorry I yelled at you and I am glad you are telling me. Tell me more and we will figure out what to do."
Remind your child that, if the adult still does not listen, it is not his or her fault, but to keep asking until someone does something to fix the problem. Tell your child to please always tell you whenever she or he has a problem with anyone anywhere anytime. Ultimately, it is the responsibility of adults to create safe environments for the children in their lives and to be good role-models for our children by acting as their advocates in powerful respectful ways.

8. Using Physical Self-Defense as a Last Resort

Children need to know when they have the right to hurt someone to stop that person from hurting them. At Kidpower, we teach that fighting is a last resort - when you are about to be harmed and you cannot leave or get help.
However, bullying problems are often not as clear-cut as other personal safety issues. Families have different rules about where they draw the line. Schools will often punish a child who fights back unless parents warn the school in writing ahead of time that, since the school has not protected their children, they will back their children up if they have to fight.
Learning physical self defense helps most children become more confident, even if they never have to use these skills in a real-life situation. Just being more confident helps children to avoid being chosen as a victim most of the time. There are different self defense techniques for bullying than for more dangerous situations -- let your child practice a self defense move like kicking someone in the shins, pinching someone's leg or upper arm, or hitting someone in the chest. You can practice in the air or by holding a sofa cushion. Consider sending your child to a class like Kidpower.

Other Articles of Interest

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Mohandas Gandhi: "A nation's culture...

"A nation's culture resides
in the hearts and in the soul
of its people. "

Monday, November 7, 2011

Critics say that new Michigan anti-bullying bill actually condones bullying



There's nothing like a good culture war conflict to produce unintended consequences--as when, for example, so-called zero tolerance school policies fail to improve safety and sometimes correlate with spikes in the very behavior education officials want to curb.
But a new bill wending its way through the Michigan legislature may represent a new landmark in culture-war legislating: It has acquired a last-minute amendment that deliberately seeks to undermine the legislation's stated purpose.
The measure is supposed to enact new restraints on bullying in Michigan schools; it's known as Matt's Safe School Law, named for Matt Epling, a 14-year-old Michigan student who committed suicide after sustained bullying from fellow students. But before the state Senate approved the bill, Republicans in the chamber added an amendment stipulating that it does not abridge First Amendment free speech rights or impinge on the expression of religious or moral views.
Partisans in the religious-secular wings of culture combat can, of course, weigh in on the question of whether religious and moral traditions condone bullying--but that's not the point of this particular legislative maneuver. As Amy Sullivan, a Time magazine columnist on the religion-and-politics beat, explains:
Michigan is already one of only three states in the country that have not enacted any form of anti-bullying legislation. For more than a decade, Democrats in the state legislature have fought their Republican colleagues and social conservatives such as Gary Glenn, president of the American Family Association of Michigan, who referred to anti-bullying measures as "a Trojan horse for the homosexual agenda." In that time, at least ten Michigan students who were victims of bullying have killed themselves.
This year, Republicans only agreed to consider an anti-bullying measure that did not require school districts to report bullying incidents, did not include any provisions for enforcement or teacher training, and did not hold administrators accountable if they fail to act. And they fought back Democratic attempts to enumerate particular types of students who are prone to being bullied, such as religious and racial minorities, and gay students. But it was the addition of special protections for religiously-motivated bullying that led all 11 Democratic senators to vote against the legislation they had long championed.
The new provision reflects a longstanding belief among social conservatives that legal efforts to curb hate speech and bullying actually target the body of beliefs in various faith traditions that castigate homosexual behavior. In similar disputes over federal legislation, Sullivan notes, social conservative lawmakers and interest groups "unsuccessfully fought for the inclusion of a provision protecting religious freedom when Congress expanded the definition of a hate crime to include crimes motivated by a victim's sexual orientation. They also strongly oppose legislation that would prevent discrimination against gay individuals in the workplace, charging that such a law would endanger religious freedom."
Michigan's amended bill drew sharp rebukes from anti-bullying activists and Democrats in the state senate. Matt Epling's father, Kevin Epling wrote a letter of protest that state Sen. Glenn Anderson read on the chamber floor during the debate over the measure on Wednesday. "I am ashamed that this could be Michigan's law on anti-bullying when in fact it is a 'bullying is OK in Michigan' law." Senate Democratic leader Gretchen Whitmer echoed the same point in an emotional floor speech, which you can watch in the video clip above.
"Here today, you claim to be protecting kids, and you're actually putting them in more danger," Whitmer said. "You may be able to pat yourself on the back today and say that you did something, but in actuality, you're explicitly outlining how to get away with bullying."


Michigan Senate Approves House Version Of Anti-Bullying Bill, Drops Religious Language


Michigan state Sen. Gretchen Whitmer, D-East Lansing.

First Posted: 11/29/11 05:28 PM ET Updated: 11/29/11 05:28 PM ET  

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Michigan's state Senate dropped a bill Tuesday that critics called "a license to bully," and instead adopted a House version that represents a compromise among Republican lawmakers in a more comprehensive piece of legislation that would require anti-bullying policies in schools.

After the Senate passed the controversial anti-bullying bill, "Matt's Safe School Law," earlier this month, a wave of criticism poured in to lawmakers. The staunch opposition stemmed from a provision in the bill's language that permitted harassment by teachers and students if they can claim that their actions are rooted in a "sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction."

Democratic Senate Minority Leader Gretchen Whitmer most openly criticized the bill with an emotional speech, and a week later, the state House passed its own version of the anti-bullying bill, which smoothed over the language in the Senate's original draft.

The House's version of the bill, passed by the Senate today, doesn't include the controversial religious language and requires all public, charter and intermediate school districts to implement the policy. The bill passed 88-18 and is also a bipartisan result of the House's promise to seek a compromise that Republican Speaker of the House Jase Bolger said will "bring everyone to the middle of the road and provide protection to all students."

The Senate's passage Tuesday of the House version was met with mixed response.

It's a victory for me, but more importantly, it's a victory for students across the state,” Whitmer said after Tuesday's vote, The Grand Rapids Press reports. “People started calling my office to tell me their stories. I had one doctor from Kalamazoo who told us about his experience being bullied in school. He said he never told anyone about it. I still get chills thinking about it.”

Although the newly passed legislation doesn't include what critics say would have allowed bullying based on religious beliefs, it also doesn't include specifics like common causes of bullying -- such as instances based on race, religion or sexual orientation -- or detailed reporting requirements for instances of bullying, the Associated Press reports.



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Whitmer told The Grand Rapids Press she will continue to work for stricter policies.

But when you consider where we were, this is a good step,” she told the publication. “For the Senate to take this up first thing after a break shows something.”

The bill passed by a 35-2 vote and goes to Gov. Rick Snyder's desk.

If Snyder signs the bill, Michigan would join a host of other states that have adopted policies that protect students from harassment. California is the first state that requires public schools to teach about the contributions of gays and lesbians, and a measure to curb anti-gay bullying passed the state Senate in September.

New Jersey passed a law in January, effective as of September, requiring anti-bullying policies across the state's public schools. Known as the "Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights," the law is said to be the toughest piece of anti-bullying legislation in the country.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Bullying Visual: Felissa Elfenbein

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they were sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever.
The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.
Pass it on or better yet, if you're a parent or a teacher, do it with your child/children.
By: Felissa Elfenbein

NC House Bill 736: Amend Law Re School Discipline

North Carolina General Assembly - House Bill 736 Information ...
www.ncleg.net/gascripts/BillLookUp/BillLookUp.pl?...BillID=h736Cached
NCGA - North Carolina General Assembly. Full Site Search: Search Bill Text: 2011-2012 Session .... House Bill 736 / S.L. 2011-282. 2011-2012 Session ...
To read: open HB 736, click left text box