Sunday, March 31, 2013

To a child, LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E (3:50 min. video)

It is crucial to "be there" for the important people in your life, and if you're a parent...you know there's really no one more important than your children.

"Be there" and "be present" for those who look up to us the most!

Click here to watch Love is Spelled T-I-M-E

Life Secrets

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side-by-side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed, without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart.

It began with a small misunderstanding, and it grew into a major difference, and finally, it exploded into an exchange of bitter words, followed by weeks of silence.

One morning, there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work," he said. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor. In fact, it's my younger brother! Last week, there was a meadow between us. He recently took his bulldozer to the river levee, and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll do him one better.

See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence - an 8-foot fence - so I won't need to see his place, or his face, anymore."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails, and the post-hole digger, and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day -- measuring, sawing, and nailing. About sunset, when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.
The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge... a bridge that stretched from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, with handrails, and all!
And, the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming toward them, his hand outstretched... "You are quite a fellow to build this bridge, after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox onto his shoulder.

"No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but I have many more bridges to build."

Monday, March 25, 2013

Cheerleaders' act of kindness is quickly repaid: 3:07 min. video

http://screen.yahoo.com/disabled-girl-makes-brighton-middle-022902987.html

Sunday, March 24, 2013

“My pain may be the reason for another's laugh,

But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody’s pain. “

Charlie Chaplin

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Governor McCrory Establishes N.C. Center for Safer Schools

March 19, 2013 • Education

Apex, N.C. - Today, during a press conference at Apex Middle School, Governor Pat McCrory announced the creation of the N.C. Center for Safer Schools, which will serve as the state’s primary point of contact on issues related to school safety.

“My top priority for public safety in North Carolina is to ensure our children are safe, especially in our schools,” said Governor McCrory. “It is imperative that we prevent all forms of potential violence. The Center for Safer Schools will develop a comprehensive strategy of best practices throughout the state and country to protect our children, teachers, school administrators and our communities.”

The Center for Safer Schools, which will be administered through the Division of Juvenile Justice, will provide a clearinghouse of school safety information to schools, law enforcement, youth-serving agencies, juvenile justice officials, community leaders, policymakers, parents and students. In addition to creating a website and toll-free phone number, Center staff will help schools assess site safety issues; work on-site with communities and schools who are experiencing unacceptable levels of school and youth violence; and provide community or school presentations on topics such as emerging trends in school violence, safe school and site assessment, gang prevention and risk identification.

The Center will assist schools in ensuring that its personnel are equipped, trained and have the skills required to make schools safer. This could include the creation of a set of basic certification standards and updated training for school resource officers. The Center will also convene outside experts for presentations and assessments on topics related to crisis prevention, planning, response and recovery from a wide array of fields, including: juvenile justice, mental health, security, emergency management, education, law enforcement and public health.

“Our vision for the Center for Safer Schools is that it will be a meaningful, authentic and customer-driven program,” said Department of Public Safety Secretary Kieran Shanahan. “We’re not here to tell schools and communities what to do. We want to work with schools, communities and families on an individual basis to meet their localized needs.”

The Center for Safer Schools will hold eight community forums across the state in April to learn about local concerns and challenges related to school safety. Findings and feedback from these forums will be compiled into a report to Governor McCrory.

Shanahan introduced Kym Martin of Apex as the Center’s executive director. Martin has served as a classroom teacher and administrator, and is a parent with four children in North Carolina public schools.

NC Governor McCrory creates N.C. Center for Safer Schools

Mar 19, 2013, 2:09pm EDT

Education

McCrory creates N.C. Center for Safer Schools

Enlarge

Gov. Pat McCrory is making school safety a priority.

Jason deBruyn

Staff Writer- Triangle Business Journal

APEX - There is no uniform way school districts in North Carolina pay for public safety.
That was a conclusion of Gov. Pat McCrory when he announced the establishment of the N.C. Center for Safer Schools during a press conference at Apex Middle School Tuesday.
In fact, determining how much the state’s public K-12 schools spend on public safety is a number that is probably not available. Spending on safety comes from a combination of state, district and county budgets, and spending totals are “vastly” different across the state, said Pamela Walker, a spokeswoman for the N.C. Department of Public Safety.
This newly established center will fall under the Division of Juvenile Justice, which itself falls under N.C. DPS. Its budget won’t be available until McCrory announces his state budget this week.
Walker said the purpose of the center will be to serve as a sort of clearinghouse or point of contact for safety or resource officers at any of the state’s schools. “We hope to be seen as a resource,” she said.
In a statement at the press conference, McCrory said, “My top priority for public safety in North Carolina is to ensure our children are safe, especially in our schools. It is imperative that we prevent all forms of potential violence. The Center for Safer Schools will develop a comprehensive strategy of best practices throughout the state and country to protect our children, teachers, school administrators and our communities."

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

'92 Olympics: Never Give Up: 3:15 min. video

Never give up; push through, even when quitting is acceptable!

In the spirit of the games (and life):

Watch a lesson from the '92 Olympic Games >>

Life Secrets

Monday, March 11, 2013

Community Against Violence (HP-CAV)

Jim Summey, Reverend; Executive Director, High Point Community Against Violence (HP-CAV)

Testimony 9-10-2008: United States Senate: Committe on the Judiciary

Honorable Judiciary Committee Members,

When I became pastor of the English Road Baptist Church in May of 1992, I knew part of the history of this community of approximately 1400 hundred people located in the West End area of High Point, North Carolina. As a child I grew up on a small farm no more than fifteen miles away from the West End and heard stories in the late fifties and sixties of the pool halls and the beer joints of this infamous area.The West End Community, for most of the 20th century had been a blue collar area of town. West End neighbors labored in the nearby cotton/hosiery mills and worked in the many furniture factories (rightly so for High Point s noted as the furniture capitol of the world). People worked, worshipped and recreated in this area as this little niche of town had most of the amenities that people needed years ago.With changes that began in the mid and late seventies in the hosiery and furniture markets, there was some slow down in manufacturing. Also, many of the folks who had labored in those jobs now were nearing retirement and fewer workers were devoted to the trades of the area. Private or company owned housing of the West End began to be sold as investment property and by the eighties the area had become a neighborhood of renters with fewer home owners or seekers of such housing. A once fairly stable community became more transitional. A sense of "not knowing the neighbors" developed, as did more distance in relationships and lack of camaraderie took place. Crime rates began to rise a bit and the once "friendly fights" became more intense. Then, in the late eighties, the advent of crack cocaine found a "home" in this part of town and the sales of such along with all the vices of prostitution, violence, intimidation, neighborhood suppression, and a general sense of unrest developed. Into the nineties the West End became a place where the residents lived in fear and in a "lock-down" mentality. Gun fire rang out much too frequently. Street robberies and muggings of every nature were every day events. Prostitution was so rampant that on one Sunday morning in 1997 there were so many prostitutes walking the sidewalks around the church area that church attendees could not turn into the parking lot for the "Johns" picking up the girls. Calls to the police resulted in frustration for me, West End residents, and even the police. Race relations decreased due to the high number of African American young men involved in the drug dealing and the crimes creating distrust between them and other race groups. The police utilized every traditional method of policing and deterrence available. Drug raids, drug sweeps, prostitution stings, and round-ups were classically utilized. Yet, so very often the results were so short lived, only to see every crack-house, the street corners, and most of the girls back in business within one to two weeks. Citizens complained, tempers flared, and frustration ran amuck creating a very unhealthy community.In 1999 three of the West End Church pastors began to meet and discuss the problems of the area. All three (myself included) shared the same concerns and frustrations. We decided to include other members from the three churches (a Reform UCC church, a Methodist church, and a Baptist Church) to meet monthly and discuss how we could work together to have positive impact on the community. We formed a separate non-profit called West End Ministries, Inc. We shared our plight with the City of High Point's Community Development Department. We were encouraged to talk with community residents and have a community meeting. The first meeting yielded 117 residents who came together where we identified three outstanding areas of concern: 1. Crime/Violence; 2. Youth Concerns (wandering and no after school guidance) and 3. Neighborhood appearance and unhealthy housing/living conditions. Each church took an area of concern: Rankin Methodist Church addressed youth concerns and opened their doors to host a neighborhood Boys and Girls Club; First Reformed Church took on neighborhood appearance, organized meeting with city inspectors, pushed community clean-up days, made housing ordinances aware to rent lords and pushed for improvements and opened a Thrift Store to provide basic human living necessities at little to no cost. The English Road Baptist Church hosted police and community meetings, urged neighborhood watch programs, worked with language groups to communicate that the police were concerned about their safety, not their green card status. The Baptist Church also started a food ministry and soup kitchen and began feeding the struggling and homeless.All the above work of the community and the churches helped, but the violence and the drug market activities still prevailed and the community was still fettered by the conditions of lawlessness. Chief Jim Fealy became High Point's new chief of police in January of 2003. The first community meeting that Chief Fealy attended was in the West End. Jim Fealy appeared genuine, caring, professional, competent, and open. I told Chief Fealy after the meeting that I appreciate his words, but frankly, I, and many of this community had lost faith in the H.P. Police Department to do anything lasting about our problems. Jim Fealy took my words as a challenge. A year latter I was asked to come to a meeting and to just sit and listen. Myself, a few citizens, many city leaders, and police administration heard a, then, Harvard Associate professor talk about some ideas he had about neighborhood drug markets, how they worked, what drove them and how to "undo" them; his name... David Kennedy. David Kennedy articulated my frustration. David communicated in words of reality and with facts and real life observations and with a sociological understanding of the dynamics of communities disrupted by violence associated with drug markets. He shared about the police being honest, supporting the constitution, doing less harm, building relationships with the community, recreating an atmosphere where citizens and police could truly dialogue and do so to learn, not to argue. David talked about the police truly identifying the real perpetrators of the violence and the drug markets and then ask them, (not TELL them), ask them to come to a meeting where the community could tell them that their actions were not acceptable and would no longer be tolerated and that they (the community) supported the police. The community would then give the "called in violent and drug marketing offenders" an ultimatum, "Stop the violence and the drug market and tell us you want to turn your life in a positive direction and we will do all that we can to help you. But, if you continue, we will do all that we can to make sure that you face arrest and the court system." I was asked after this meeting what I thought and I simply said, "It makes sense, it can work." I highly credit Chief Fealy, his command staff and all the High Point Police Department for being bold enough and committed to exploring every avenue to develop a way to help the citizens of High Point live in a better and safer environment. And, I am so grateful to David Kennedy for developing this "way" of approaching crime and violence and staying with his message till someone was willing to implement it.This new way of approaching crime is interactive with the community and with the criminal elements within communities. This "method" is redeeming and thus is viewed as fair because it utilizes truth and accuracy as tools to pinpoint problem individuals and then, still, gives them a chance to consider how their lives can be different. The community embraces this way of policing because it gives the community a voice and it gives the criminal element a first hand reality check that all along what they thought was approval was only fear, and now the fear is gone and the truth is known. The community embraces this way of policing because everyone works for the good of people who are struggling with lives of criminality and, then, if those who are given "second chances" continue to live lawless, then the community supports incarceration. May 18th 2004 was the "call-in" day for the West End Drug Initiative. The offenders had been identified and notified by police, area clergy, and citizens that they (the offenders) could come to this meeting with no reprisals, just come and listen. As nine people came to this meeting and heard the messages of the community and the police, a great sense of positive empowerment came over the community and the police who were involved that night. On May 19th, 2004 (the next day), West End was quiet. No one sold drugs on the corner. No one ran from a house to the street thirty times a day to do curb service drug delivery; not even one prostitute was seen. No gun shots rang out. There was no yelling and fighting and intimidating congregations of people walking down the middle of the street blocking traffic; a new day had arrived.One month following the event of May 18, 2004, English Road Baptist Church held its annual summer Vacation Bible School which is a children and youth based event for spiritual enrichment. In the eleven years prior to 2004 we had attendance of between 100 and 130 children; however the most that had ever attended the event from the actual West End Community was 6 kids. Just one month after the call-in of May 18, we had 36 neighborhood children in attendance (the most ever). Overhearing two of the children conversing after one of the sessions that week; one said to another, "Did you walk here?" (The other responded "yes"), followed by "Yeah, we walked too; mama said its OK now." This was just one month after the initiative.This "new day" still thrives in the West End. Whereas, we led the City of High Point in murders for ten years, there has not been a murder in West End in over four years. New homes are being built. People walk to the stores to purchase goods. Kids walk to church and people sit on their porches and swing in backyard swings. People are planting flower beds and tending them. There is a sense of relief that has lasted because people who were once strangers due to fear and not being able to trust or know each other, now talk, meet on the sidewalks, go to neighborhood meetings, and are working to maintain relationships with law enforcement. Racial relationships have improved very much. Purpose, camaraderie and commitment to causes greater than our differences have filled the voids left by distrust. The neighborhood sees itself more as a real community, taking on issues other than the violence that once so permeated the streets. Quality of life issues are concerns now because they are also, now, possibilities. Maintenance of the West End and three other areas of high Point where this initiative has been successful is due to continual community and police involvement and an organization in High Point known as the High Point Community Against Violence (a non-profit in its eleventh year). The HPCAV is an organization that works with the police as a multifaceted community voice of addressing acts of violence and sending out positive messages to "Stop the violence." Supporting members of HPCAV, regular citizens, community leaders, elected officials, the police, and community groups are all seeing the value of communicating the message of reaching those in the community who have chosen paths of violence to be a way of life and, now, offering them a positive direction. With this method of policing, involving the community, everyone has a choice to see what life truly can be. This way is a way that brings out the very best of people because it is people living and doing their best to help each other.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Even Eagles Need a Push (3:40 min. video)

We’ve all seen it, or felt it, at some point in our life; how just one moment of encouragement can change a life forever. It can be the greatest gift you’ll ever give…or receive.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Win-Win Approach to Life

Respect your fellow human beings, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it. ~Bill Bradley

Shared by Edith Labrato Shepherd

Monday, March 4, 2013

15 Easy Things Parents Can Do To Increase Kid Cooperation

Getting kids to listen is a difficult thing to do, but increasing cooperation from kids can make a more enjoyable home environment for everyone involved. These tips can help you put your kids on a path to cooperation, reducing disputes and hard feelings.

Avoid Manipulation– Manipulating your child is never the way to get lasting results. It’ll just teach them the art of manipulation, and it may raise some resentment issues in the future. Instead of manipulating them to get them to do what you want, try asking them what they want to do and working out a solution that benefits everyone.
Practice Taking Turns – Teaching your child to take turns can create a working cooperation. This works easiest when there is more than one child in the household. Do not favor one child over the other, or you will have a rebellion on your hands. Make sure that whatever your children are doing, they are taking turns with it, whether it be using their favorite color crayon, playing with dolls or simply watching TV.
Teach Through Storytelling – You’re probably thinking, how will telling stories get my kid to cooperate? It’s quite simple: tell them stories about kids cooperating. Kids love to hear stories and they may not understand right away that they are learning something, but eventually it will catch on. You could subtly remind them with things like, “Remember the story about Suzy? She helped bake cookies and then helped clean up. Will you do that with me?”
Just Listen – Being a good listener is important in all situations, but it’s very important for a parent to listen to a child. If your little one has a problem with something, simply ask him what it is and really listen to what he has to say. You might be surprised at the good points kids can bring up when they know they are actually being heard.
Play Games – Games are always great tools for learning. You can either create your own games or find ones that are available that are geared toward cooperation. Having trouble thinking of some? Any board game teaches cooperation because each player has to take a turn and cannot skip someone else.
Practice Reinforcement – Positive reinforcement is a way to get kids to cooperate in that they will realize they are being rewarded for good behavior. Eventually, they won’t need to be rewarded as often because they will just automatically act the way you want them to. Keep in mind that reward does not always mean a material thing. A reward can be a simple “thank you.”
Reverse Roles – Take the chance and reverse roles with your child. Tell them they get to be the parent for the next ten minutes while you get to be the child. Act like your child was behaving and see how they handle the situation. It may just change their mind the next time they decided to go against the rules you’ve established.
Work on Sharing Skills – While sharing is similar to taking turns, it’s not quite the same. Sharing involves giving something of your own to someone else and trusting that he will eventually give it back. Kids should learn sharing at a young age. Make sure they understand it’s not a hostile takeover, but just someone borrowing something for a little while.
Model the Behavior You Want to See – Kids watch and learn from everything going on around them. Mostly, they look to you for examples of how to react in a given situation. If you model the behavior you’d like them to adopt, your children will naturally start to fall in line. Keep in mind that this needs to be practiced in all areas, not just at home. If you follow a guideline out in public too, such as standing patiently in line or being courteous to the cashier at the checkout, your children will soon catch on.
Provide Choices – Everyone likes choices. If you tell someone you are doing this and there are no other options, she will either laugh in your face or leave. Without being given a choice, your children might feel like they are trapped and will act out accordingly.
Make a Chore List – Don’t do all the housework yourself! Your kids need to learn that chores are part of everyday living. Working together to maintain the household also helps your child learn to cooperate naturally.
Ask Your Child to Solve An Issue – If there is a situation going on that is out of control and your child will not listen to what you have to say, give them a scenario with a similar situation and ask them to solve the problem for that child. It will teach them problem solving skills while reinforcing the behavior they already know is right.
Set Expectations – Set high expectations for your kids and they will feed off that need to make you proud. No kid likes disappointing his parents, but not all parents set the bar high enough to challenge their child. If you set the bar high, they will reach as far as they can to achieve it.
Make Kids Feel Needed – Sometimes kids act out because they want attention. Be sure you’re giving your kids as much time and attention as they need. True, life gets busy and you have a lot to do during the day, but get your kids involved! Have them help you out. The feeling of being needed is a very strong motivator.
Compromise – If the situation warrants it, consider a compromise with your child. If she doesn’t want to clean up her room right now, give her an alternative option or tell her she can have something, such as playing a video game, once they are done with the chore. It’s all about give and take.

As they say, pick your battles. Not all arguments will be settled with these tips, but you’ll learn along with your child which methods work and which don’t. With hard work and dedication, you will soon have a cooperative young child at your side.