10 Telltale Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

Bullying is a problem of epidemic proportions, and can affect every aspect of a child’s life. While visibility around the issue has been raised as the most severe cases make national news, there is still a prevailing idea that bullying is part of childhood and is only a sign of “kids being kids.” Parents of children who are frequently the butt of bullies’ jokes know that the problem is much more severe than mere child’s play. If you’re concerned that your child may be the target of schoolyard or cyber-bullying, here are some signs to be on the lookout for.

1. Withdrawal from Activities – Has your child lost interest in extracurricular activities he once enjoyed? This could be a sign of your child being bullied. If he once loved his after-school clubs or teams and now actively avoids them, there could be harassment taking place that makes him reluctant to attend.
2. Eating and Sleeping Habit Changes – Noticeable changes in your child’s eating or sleeping patterns can indicate that she’s under some sort of stress, which could be the result of being targeted by bullies. She could have a lessened appetite because of the thoughts running through her mind of her tormentor. If she’s eating more at home than usual, it could mean that her lunch is being stolen. Her sleeping habits could have changed because she now has nightmares about the person picking on her. There are a variety of potential causes for these changes, so they should be investigated.
3. Irritability – Being picked on can put anyone in a bad mood, so try to look for the root of increased irritability or a shortened temper after school. Bullies wear on a child’s self-esteem, and a child with low self-esteem can lash out from that added tension.
4. Avoiding School – The occasional faked stomach ache is a common ploy to get out of school for a few hours of sleep or to miss a test she’s not prepared for, but regular attempts to get out of going to school may be a sign of a child who’s actively avoiding her tormentors.
5. Decrease in Grades – It’s difficult to concentrate on school work and getting good grades when that mean kid in class keeps kicking your chair or making fun of you. Your child’s grades might be suffering, not due to indifference to school, but due to a bully constantly nagging.
6. Fidgeting – If your child used to sit still very well and for long periods of time but now seems to fidget, it could be because of a bully. A physical bully may spur the “flight” half of the “fight or flight” instinct, causing them to be hyper-aware of their surroundings and always ready to bolt.
7. Unwilling to Discuss School – A child who avoids answering questions about his day or answers evasively could be hiding the fact that someone was picking on him. The part of the school day that has the longest impression on your child right now may be the fact that someone doesn’t like him and he’s being made fun of. It’s tough to remember the exciting parts of the day when your child’s thoughts are consumed by the torment of a classmate.
8. Acting Out – Increased aggression and violent outbursts can be an indicator of bullying, as kids who spend their days being harassed seek an outlet for their frustrations. Any sudden personality change should be cause for concern, but a turn in a more aggressive direction should be addressed immediately.
9. Being Mean to Younger Siblings – Is your child starting to pick on your other children? If so, she might have a bully she’s dealing with when you aren’t there. It’s natural to want to unload your burden onto someone else in the same way it was unloaded onto you. Your child could just need to get her anger out of her but doesn’t know how to, so she resorts to doing the same thing to her younger siblings that is being done to her.
10. Unexplained Bruises or Injuries – Physical bullies do still exist. If your child comes home with bruises or injuries that are not linked to the regular rambunctiousness of a child, it’s time to get concerned. Yes, it’s possible that he fell down on the playground, but it’s also possible that he was pushed down by a bully and is scared to tell you about it.

The shame and embarrassment that can accompany being bullied is often enough to keep kids quiet about their troubles, especially if they’re afraid that they’ll be subjected to retribution for tattling. Be patient with your child and let him know that you’re on his side, and that you’ll find a solution to the problem together.

Shared by Teresa Bleecher

Seven Wonders of the World: Through the Eyes of a Child: video

Reminder: Our most priceless possessions were given to us free at birth.

Watch: Seven Wonders of the World >>
Life Secrets

How To Protect Children From Bullying Without Turning Them Into a Bully

While it’s something that has gained a lot of press in recent years, bullying is not a new thing. In past generations, it was considered a rite of passage, and was something that was simply expected. Today, however, we have a much better understanding of bullying and the lifelong effects of it on both the bully and the victim.

Bullying takes on many different forms. Verbal bullying includes intimidation and threats, name calling, insults about gender, race, sexual orientation, special needs, disabilities, or other personal characteristics, public humiliation, and spreading rumors. Physical bullying includes tripping, pinching, hitting, pushing, and destroying or stealing personal property. Cyberbullying includes harassing emails, texts, and instant messages, and intimidating, harassing, or humiliating posts and pictures on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and other websites. Cyberbullying can be especially damaging because it continues outside of school hours and off of school grounds, and has the ability to reach a large audience. These attacks can continue to circulate online long after the initial event.

If you think your child is being bullied, you’re not alone. Up to half of all children are bullied at some point during their school years, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Some of the possible warning signs that your child might be a victim of bullying are if your child:

• Comes home with torn clothes.
• Is missing sweaters, jackets, school supplies, or other things repeatedly.
• Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches.
• Is afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, or riding the school bus.
• Suddenly begins to do poorly in school.
• Is sad, upset, angry, or depressed when she comes home.
• Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, being tired, or other physical ailments that would prevent her from going to school.
• Has few friends.

If you think your child might be being bullied, you’re not helpless. There are things you can do to stop the bullying, help your child deal with the after effects, and stop future attacks.

Encourage your child to share her feelings. It’s important that your child has a safe place to talk about what’s happening and how she feels about it. When your child opens up, listen without dismissing her feelings (e.g. “Oh, you shouldn’t get so upset about what she says.”), without downplaying the incident (e.g. “Don’t listen to what that boy says. You’re beautiful just how you are!”) or without assuring her things will immediately change (e.g. “I’ll talk to your teacher and it will be OK.”) Offer empathy and support, let her know you’re on her side, remind her that she’s not to blame for what happened, and work with her to find a solution.

Contact school administrators. You should report all bullying to your child’s school. Many schools have bullying policies already in place so you’ll have a good idea what to expect. Present as many details as you have and ask what actions will be taken. Make sure you follow up and stay up-to-date on how your complaint is being handled. Unfortunately not all principals and teachers take bullying seriously and you may have to be the squeaky wheel to get them to take meaningful action. If your child was physically attacked, talk to the school principal immediately to decide if the police should be involved.

Model an honest yet appropriate response. Of course you’re going to be angry if your child is being bullied. Be honest with your child about how you’re feeling while letting her know that acting on anger, hurt, humiliation or other negative emotions doesn’t solve the problem. Put your energy into working with the school to stop the bullying behavior to ensure the bully is dealt with appropriately and to help your child deal with the emotional toll of bullying.

Boost your child’s self-esteem. There’s no such thing as a bully-proof child, but kids that have high self-esteem, are part of supportive friendships, and are involved in activities they enjoy and are good at are much less susceptible to bullying. In today’s world there’s a group, team, or club for pretty much any activity your child is interested in. Sports, volunteering, music, performing arts, chess, gaming, or outdoor adventure can all help your child avoid or successfully deal with bullying. If her school doesn’t offer anything your child is interested in, look in your local community.
Bullying is a problem that isn’t going away anytime soon. Public awareness, prevention programs, and progressive school policies are making it easier to identify and deal with bullies, but occurrences of bullying aren’t declining. In fact, cyberbullying is increasing at an alarming rate as smart phones become standard equipment for students. As a parent, you have the power to help your child to deal with bullying wherever and whenever she might encounter it.

Shared by Meghan Welker

Encouraging Each Other: Texas High Schools Football: video

Not new, but a wonderful story worth repeating! Don't miss the video!

Texas High School Football.There was an unusual high school football game played in Grapevine, Texas. The game was between Grapevine Faith Academy and the Gainesville State School . Faith is a Christian school and Gainesville State School is located within a maximum security correction facility.

Gainesville State School has 14 players. They play every game on the road. Their record was 0-8. They've only scored twice. Their 14 players are teenagers who have been convicted of crimes ranging from drugs to assault to robbery. Most had families who had disowned them. They wore outdated, used shoulder pads and helmets. Faith Academy was 7-2. They had 70 players, 11 coaches, and the latest equipment.

Chris Hogan, the head coach at Faith Academy, knew the Gainesville team would have no fans and it would be no contest, so he thought, "What if half of our fans and half of our cheerleaders, for one night only, cheered for the other team?" He sent out an email to the faithful asking them to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send," Hogan wrote. "You're just as valuable as any other person on the planet."

Some folks were confused and thought he was nuts. One player said, "Coach, why are we doing this?" Hogan said, "Imagine you don't have a home life, no one to love you, no one pulling for you. Imagine that everyone pretty much had given up on you. Now, imagine what it would feel like and mean to you for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."

The idea took root. On the night of the game, imagine the surprise of those 14 players when they took the field and there was a banner the cheerleaders had made for them to crash through. The visitors' stands were full. The cheerleaders were leading cheers for them. The fans were calling them by their names. Isaiah, the quarterback-middle linebacker said, "I never in my life thought I would hear parents cheering to tackle and hit their kid. Most of the time, when we come out, people are afraid of us. You can see it in their eyes, but these people are yelling for us. They knew our names."

Faith won the game, and after the game the teams gathered at the 50-yard line to pray. That's when Isaiah, the teenage convict-quarterback surprised everybody and asked if he could pray. He prayed, "Lord, I don't know what just happened so I don't know how or who to say thank you to, but I never knew there were so many people in the world who cared about us." On the way back to the bus, under guard, each one of the players was handed a burger, fries, a coke, candy, a Bible, and an encouraging letter from the players from Faith Academy.

What incredible kindness and goodness
Proverbs 11:17 says, "Your own soul is nourished when you are kind."
Proverbs 3:27 says, "Do not withhold good when it is in your power to act."

Be kind to someone this week. Be kind to every person you meet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52AOPQvCTv4&NR=1

Shoeshiner donates $200,000 to children

For 32 years, Albert Lexie has been much more than the shoeshine man at the Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital—he's a philanthropist who's been giving back his tips.

So far, all those dollars have added up to an impressive $200,000 in donations to the Children’s Hospital Free Care Fund, which helps out parents of sick children who can’t afford to pay. How did he do it? Two shoes a pop, one tip at a time, a few hundred dollars a week, for over three decades.

For a $5 shine, Lexie often gets an extra thank you. "Most of them give $6, some of them give $7," he told Pittsburgh station WTAE-TV. One year, he recalled, “I had a doctor who gave me a $50 bill for Christmas.” You can bet the generous gratuity went straight to the kids.

In fact, 100 percent of Lexie’s tip money since 1981 has been donated to the Free Care Fund.
"He does it because he loves the kids," said Dr. Joseph Carcillo. "He's donated over a third of his lifetime salary."
That represents a lot of shiny shoes, many grateful parents and an untold number of healing kids.
"He's a philanthropist is what he is," Carcillo added. "He's an entrepreneur."

Lexie’s efforts have not gone unnoticed. In 2010 he was nominated by the Pittsburgh Pirates for a Major League Baseball All-Stars Among Us award. He told Pittsburgh magazine at the time, “I just like to do what I do for the kids. Kids are special to me, and I want these kids to get better.”

Lexie, who has been putting a polish on footwear since 1957, knows he’s made a difference. He told the TV station, “It’s good to be a hero.”

The Power of Small Steps

At 211 degrees, water is hot.
At 212 degrees. it boils.
And with boiling water, comes steam.
And steam can power a locomotive.
One extra degree...makes all the difference.
And, the one extra degree of effort in business and in life...
Separates the GOOD from the GREAT!

Watch 212 - The Extra Degree >>

Copyright © 2005 - 2013 Simple Truths, LLC

Learn How to Talk Your Teen's Language

When your affectionate child becomes a strong-willed tween who suddenly morphs into a sullen teenager, it’s easy to feel like a language barrier has sprung up between you and the teenager you’ve raised from infancy. Innocent questions can quickly degenerate into shouting matches and emotional scenes, leaving teens upset and parents befuddled. With these 30 blog entries, you can begin to explore concepts that may facilitate more productive conversation between you and your teen. With a bit of dedication and plenty of practice, you’ll be speaking your teen’s language before you know it.

Showing Respect to Get Respect
One common complaint of parents seeking family counseling or help with a troubled teen is a lack of respect shown by that teenager. What many don’t realize is that in order to receive respect from a teenager, you have to offer it in return. Rather than angrily demanding unquestioning respect from your teen without doing anything to inspire it, look to these five blog entries for some advice on how to give your teen what you’re asking for in return.

• How to Show Respect to Your Teenagers
• Kids and Teens – Four Ways to Show Your Kid Respect
• Treat Your Teen with Respect
• 10 Tips for Respecting Your Teen’s Privacy
• Ethics & Civility: Respecting Your Teen’s Opinions

Creating a “No-Judgment” Zone
In order to facilitate productive and honest conversation with your teen, you’ll need to make a point of encouraging them to talk without fear of judgment. Letting your teen know that they won’t be subjected to harsh judgments or punishments for sharing their thoughts and opinions or asking for advice is essential. Without the trust that her mistakes won’t be held against her, your teen will almost certainly choose not to come to you for help or guidance. Creating a judgment-free policy when it comes to talking to your teenager isn’t always easy, but these five blog entries are great places to start.

• The No-Judgment Zone for Parents: How to Navigate Holistic Parenting
• Practicing Non-Judgment
• The Foundation of Love: Releasing Judgments and Expectations
• Trying Out “Nonviolent Communication” With Kids: An Experiment
• The Heart of Parenting: Nonviolent Communication in Action

Keeping a Lid on Your Temper
It’s easy to fly into a rage when you feel like your teen is deliberately pushing your buttons, but it’s ultimately pointless to do so. Not only will it serve no productive purpose, but it can also make your teenager more hesitant to talk to you or to approach every conversation with hostility because that’s what she expects to encounter from you. Managing your temper in the face of a teenager’s maelstrom of emotions isn’t a trick you’ll master overnight, but the advice of these five bloggers can help you take the first step in that direction.

• Losing Your Temper: Why Parents Blow It and How To Recover
• Temper, Temper: Keeping Your Cool When Kids Push Your Buttons
• Six Questions To Help You Keep Your Cool — Instead of Losing Your Temper.
• When You Feel Your Temper Rising
• 5 Simple Ways to Control Your Temper

Learning to Listen
Part of learning how to speak to your teenager is learning how to listen to him. Just like an adult, your teen is likely to shut down when he feels that he’s not being heard, exchanging his efforts at a constructive conversation for sullenness and insults. Encouraging your teenager to talk to you can be as simple as letting him know that you’re capable of listening to what he has to say. These five blog entries offer pointers for how to practice active listening when your teen is speaking, allowing you to foster a productive dialogue rather than a one-sided shouting match.

• Tools for Listening to Your Teen
• How to Listen to your Teens
• How to Listen to Your Teen
• Listen to Your Teenager by Aletha Solter, Ph.D.
• How To Listen So Your Teen Will Talk

Make Suggestions, Not Accusations
Teens who feel like they’re being attacked by their parents or accused of things they haven’t done are far more likely to shut down completely than they are to make an effort to turn the conversation around. At this stage in your child’s life, the burden of maintaining a civil conversation rests largely on your shoulders, as she’s still learning to master the finer aspects of communication. These five blog entries discuss the importance of avoiding inflammatory “you always/you never…” statements, and help you learn to drop the accusatory tone that can lead to so much trouble.

• Parenting Together: Using Problem Solving to Set Family Rules
• User’s Manual for Parents, Part V: Advanced Concepts Using Consequences
• One Little Word That Almost Always Provokes Conflict
• 4 Tips for Getting Through to Teens
• Better Communication with Teenagers (or Anyone)

Non-Verbal Communication
There’s more to successful communication than formulating phrases and speaking them aloud. There are so many nuances and layers to how humans communicate, many of which are instinctual. The information in these five blog entries is centered on the concept of non-verbal communication and can help you master the art of speaking without saying a word.

• 5 Nonverbal Communication Cues Parents Can Use
• Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
• Disciplining With Nonverbal Cues
• Nonverbal Signals for Communication
• Dealing With Nonverbal Cues: A Key To Mediator Effectiveness

Shared by Meghan Welker