High Point Community Against Violence

Two call-ins coming up that are only two weeks apart but WE NEED YOU. 

Our next Offender Focused Domestic Violence Call-in will be on Tuesday, July 31^st at City Hall Council Chambers, 3^rd floor (211 South Hamilton Street) beginning promptly at 6:00pm (please come at least 10 minutes early if possible). 

THEN, on Tuesday, August 14^th at 6PM, same place as above, will be our quarterly Repeat Violent Offender Call-in. Again, you ARE needed.

The above “Call-ins” are where we (High Point Community Against Violence/High Point Police Department/ NC Probation and other law enforcement agencies local, state and federal) confront violent crime offenders whom we have chosen to focus on regarding their criminal records and we do so for the safety of the community. We give them (the focus offenders) a warning; we give them a chance to better lives; law enforcement gives them a promise of fierce prosecution if they reoffend. 

THIS way of doing things works: over fifteen years of doing this kind of community partnership policing in High Point: population has grown 37% while violent crime has decreased 54%. 

WE NEED the community (YOU) present to FILL THE CITY HALL CHAMBERS to show a united effort to drive down violent crime.

  

High Point Community Against Violence

Don't Quit: Video

When things go wrong, and they sometimes will...
how will you choose to respond?


Be inspired by these words of wisdom if you are thinking of quitting.



Watch Don't Quit Poem
Life Secrets

Empower/encourage/enrich/affirm children, family, friends, contacts

"I can go for 2 months on 1 compliment."   Mark Twain

Lost Generation: Live Inspired; video: 1:45 mins.

Can we reverse the destructive changes in our world?


(Click, wait, & video will play)
Watch this video for a bit of insight and inspiration in making it happen!
Ending will surprise you.





Live Inspired!

Nelson Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Shared by an outstanding teacher

Sexual abuse warning signs: Joe Paterno debate misses the point

WARNING SIGNS IN CHILDREN OF POSSIBLE SEXUAL ABUSE
• Has nightmares or other sleep problems without an explanation
• Seems distracted or distant at odd times
• Has a sudden change in eating habits
• Refuses to eat
• Loses or drastically increases appetite
• Has trouble swallowing.
• Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, insecurity or withdrawal
• Leaves “clues” that seem likely to provoke a discussion about sexual issues
• Writes, draws, plays or dreams of sexual or frightening images
• Develops new or unusual fear of certain people or places
• Refuses to talk about a secret shared with an adult or older child
• Talks about a new older friend
• Suddenly has money, toys or other gifts without reason
• Thinks of self or body as repulsive, dirty or bad
• Exhibits adult-like sexual behaviors, language and knowledge


Joe Paterno statue debate misses the point

Sun, Jul 22, 2012 10:21 AM ED

A sign imploring Penn State officials to take down the statue of Joe Paterno flies over the university. (AP)Enough already about the statue.

The monument to former coach Joe Paterno wouldn't have protected children if it had been left standing, and it won't protect children if it's now shattered into a million pieces after Penn State officials decided to remove it Sunday morning from outside Beaver Stadium. So much has been written about what should become of this false idol, and too little has been written about how to make sure we've learned something from Paterno's inexcusable behavior. Those who would somehow feel better now if the statue is removed aren't thinking straight.
How many of us have debated the statue and how many of us have bothered to do an internet search for how to tell the warning signs of child sexual abuse? Of course we tell ourselves we'd report a coach raping a little boy in the shower, but the signals are almost never that clear. They are almost always missed – almost always ignored.
(A few of the warning signs, from StopItNow.org, are listed at the top of this story.)
In a column this week in the Norfolk Daily News, columnist Les Mann writes about "rumors" involving a high school basketball coach in the 1980s. Read on about when a reporter confronted Mann about it:
(Note: Mann is the "I" in the following exchange)

Were there any reports of him sexually abusing his players while he was there?" the reporter asked.
"Um, nothing official," [Mann] replied, "Why, is he in trouble … there (I almost said 'again']?"
"So there were no stories in your paper about why he left …"
I shared with him the "rumors," which we both knew were now more fact than that. We both also knew if they had been reported it might have saved another child from harm.
But it was a different time and the excuses for looking the other way were legion. The school board knew. The superintendent knew. The county attorney had to know because he or his partner was the school attorney, too. The whole town knew. Certainly the newspaper and sports editors knew.
But we all sorta did a JoePa.

It was a different time? A time when looking the other way is appropriate? A time when a child in danger couldn't be saved? Is it really "a different time" now when this stuff is being written?
The time between "then" and now included the long-running NBC show "To Catch A Predator." Millions watched. Everyone knows the name of the host. Nothing has changed.
The famed statue of Joe Paterno was taken down from outside the Penn State football stadium. (AP)The time between "then" and now included horrible crimes committed by members of the Catholic church. Everyone knows about that. Nothing has changed.
The time between "then" and now included the revealing of heinous crimes by a junior hockey coach in Canada and the admirable public fight by one of his victims, former NHL player Sheldon Kennedy. Everyone in hockey knows Kennedy and the name of his molester, Graham James. Nothing has changed.
Nothing has changed: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that one in four women and one in six men are sexually abused before age 18. That puts multiple victims in every single classroom in America. Multiple victims on every school bus. Multiple victims in the neighborhood where you live.
Nothing has changed because of the sheer terror abused children face is enough to keep them quiet. In a must-read report by USA Today, the psychologist for a victim of Jerry Sandusky's abuses said of his patient: "From the first time we met, he was fearful that he would be killed. He believed that Jerry Sandusky could have him killed." This young man was stunningly brave in overcoming that fear, but any punishment of the Paterno legacy or Penn State won't make the next victims less scared. The signs abused children give are almost indecipherable, and gossipy adults who think kids have wild imaginations are not going to get us any closer to eradicating this problem.
Young victims will lie to their parents, over and over again, because they fear the repercussions. The thought of being molested again is less horrible than the thought of being punished, ridiculed, ostracized or physically harmed. Private shame is less painful than public shame, especially for a child. USA Today reports Victim 1 "couldn't begin to describe to his mother why he no longer wanted anything more to do with Jerry Sandusky, who had eagerly sought to become a part of the child's life, disguised as a generous father figure."
Consider Olympian Kellie Wells, who has a strong chance to win a gold medal for Team USA in London. She's brave enough to perform in front of the entire world, but for years she was not brave enough to blow the whistle on her abusive stepfather. He touched her "more times than I can count," she told Yahoo! Sports last year. And when she told her mother, Wells was greeted only with anger.
Wells is a survivor, a hero. She's made it. But still she's wounded, probably for life, because nobody saw the signs and she didn't feel comfortable coming forward. "I have zero trust in people," she said. "The people who were supposed to keep me safe did this to me. If harm came from them, who will look out for me?"
So now that the statue of Paterno is gone, the debate seemingly over, what now? Who will look out for the next potential victims? Do you know the signs and what to do if you see them?
Or are you going to be the next statue?

Sexual abuse warning signs at top of this post

National School Safety Center: Tips for concerned parents

• Talk with your kids. Ask if they ever feel afraid, if they’ve ever heard about gangs or weapons on campus, and what the school does to prevent bullying. Does the school enforce no-drinking and no-drugs policies? If they ever heard something alarming (rumors about a school shooting, dating violence, a predatory teacher) would they know whom to tell, and do they feel they could safely report it?
• Ask what the school is doing to keep students safe. If there were an emergency at school, how would you be notified? If a student seems depressed or aggressive, does the guidance counselor notify his parents and refer him to professional help? Is there a zero-tolerance policy about guns and violence in school? Are there metal detectors and security guards? Does the school partner with local law enforcement or offer fingerprinting for younger children? Even if you live in a safe community, safety should be on the agenda at school board meetings and it should be a top priority for the principal.
• Empower students. Suggest that the principal appoint student reps to discuss safety at school board meetings, establish an anonymous tip line so students can report threats and crime without fear of reprisal, establish a student disciplinary committee, offer classes on conflict resolution and mediation, and develop mentorship and peer counseling programs for newcomers and victims of bullying. If she’s unresponsive, start a parent committee to keep tabs.
• Get involved. Visit the school during lunch, between classes, and after school. Does the campus feel safe? Did anyone check your ID? Were students wearing gang colors or baggy outerwear that could hide a weapon? Get to know your child’s teachers, and tell them you want to hear from them if they have any concerns about your child’s behavior or safety. Make sure the staff has your work and home phone numbers in case of emergency.

By Hannah Boyd

Related Topics

       Bullying and Teasing

• Advocating for Your Child at School
• School Safety and Violence
• General Preparedness
• Talking About Tough Issues
• Strong Families: The Cornerstone Of Safe Schools And Communities
• What Parents Can Do to Keep Kids Safe at School

Adversity: video

All of us at one time or another have experienced a difficult situation, had setbacks, or dealt with our share of disappointment. Most things that happen to us on a daily basis we can't control...it is not what happens to us that matters but rather, how we choose to respond.

Carrots, Eggs or Coffee Beans, which one will you be?

Watch Carrots, Eggs or Coffee Beans >>
Life Secrets

Choose Your Life

Shared by an outstanding teacher:

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,


then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.”

- Shel Silverstein

Restorative Practices: videos at end of description

 Howard Zehr: "Restorative practice three's"

3 assumptions underlie restorative practice:
* When people and relationships are harmed, needs are created
* The needs created by harms lead to obligations.
* The obligation is to heal and “put right” the harms; this is a just response.

3 principles of restorative practice reflect these assumptions: A just response…
* acknowledges and repairs the harm caused by, and revealed by, wrongdoing
(restoration);
* encourages appropriate responsibility for addressing needs and repairing the harm
(accountability);
* involves those impacted, including the community, in the resolution
(engagement).

3 underlying values provide the foundation:
* Respect
* Responsibility
* Relationship

3 questions are central to restorative practice:
* Who has been hurt?
* What are their needs?
* Who has the obligation to address the needs, to put right the harms, to restore relationships?
(As opposed to: What rules were broken? Who did it? What do they deserve?)

3 stakeholder groups should be considered &/or involved:
* Those who have been harmed, and their families
* Those who have caused harm, and their families
* Community

3 aspirations guide restorative practice: the desire to live in right relationship:
* with one another;
* with the creation;
* with the Creator.

Howard Zehr: "Peacebuilding” instead of “Peacemaking”

because conflicts arise from specific contexts.  To address conflicts and build peaceful communities, we need to understand the contexts that lead to conflict & create contexts that promote peace. 

John Paul Lederach: it takes as long to end a conflict as it does to create it.

True peace requires us not to just make peace by ending conflicts but to build an infrastructure for peace.

Conflict “transformation” used rather than Conflict “resolution”

Conflict is normal and can often be an opportunity for growth.  It is important to analyze and address the relational and institutional context in which conflict occurs and to encourage healthy contexts in which conflict is manageable and furthers learning and renewal.

Slogan: “Conflict is opportunity. Don’t waste it.”

*Restorative Practices: W Philadelphia HS: Principal Saliyah Cruz

W Philadelphia HS named a “persistently dangerous school for violence/crime”. After Restorative Practices implemented, students realized they had a voice and they had ownership of school atmosphere.

(9:03 min. video:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HatSl1lu_PM )

*Innovative Concept Academy: St. Louis Judge Jimmy Edwards

“In 2009, after watching a string of teen offenders come through his courtroom, Judge Edwards took action. Along with 45 community partners, he took over an abandoned school and opened the Academy. Providing strict discipline, counseling and programs like chess, music and creative writing, and mandatory after-school activities, the center has changed the lives of many young people, giving them the opportunity to graduate from high school and lead successful lives.”
375 students presently enrolled: day & evening classes

(17:37 min. video: http://tedxstlouis.com/speakers/jimmie-edwards

Overcoming Adversity: 2:15 min.video

"It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them."
~ George Eliot

Watch - Overcoming Adversity >>


Believe in yourself...always!

Life Secrets

Great Quotes from Great Leaders: 3:54 min. video

Throughout history the words of great leaders have inspired, comforted, persuaded, and motivated us. Regardless of their fields of endeavor, they were all visionaries who led by example and whose actions transformed ideas into incredible results.



Copyright SimpleTruths, LLC
Click here to watch: Great Quotes from Great Leaders

Rochester Bus Bullies' Consequence

06/30/2012

Rochester Bus Bullies Receive Their Punishment

For ten days, Andy's been reporting on the ongoing drama that's enveloped the life of Karen Klein, the 68-year-old grandmother and bus monitor who was ruthlessly bullied unto tears by a pack of Rochester 7th graders. A video of the abuse went viral, landed both Klein and one of the abuser's fathers on AC360, and led to an online donation campaign meant to provide Ms. Klein with a much-needed vacation. (The campaign has raised north of $640,000 and counting -- Klein says she'll use the money to "pay some bills" and donate to a Down's syndrome charity.) Now, the Rochester school district has meted out its punishment to Klein's abusers: One year suspension and 50 hours of community service.From CNN:

"Following individual meetings this week with school and district administrators, each family waived their right to a hearing and agreed to one-year suspensions from school and regular bus transportation," the Greece Central School District said in a statement.
The students will be transferred to the district Reengagement Center, it said. Each will also be required to complete 50 hours of community service with senior citizens and must take part in a formal bullying prevention program.

It might be worth repeating: The offending 7th graders will be forced to perform community service with senior citizens. No doubt, the experience will prove enlightening for the boys -- but will the seniors get any say in this?

For related videos and information, drop down & click Safer Schools 6-21-2012 post